If Only in My Dreams
by ooza
Summary: What happens when you mix Christmas, Edward, & penetration? One-shot written for Southern Fan Fiction Review. Bella/Edward, AH, Rated M for lemons!


**Summary:** What happens when you mix Christmas, Edward, & penetration? One-shot written for Southern Fan Fiction Review. Bella/Edward ~ AH ~ Rated MA/NC-17 for sexual content

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Please do not repost my stories elsewhere. A lot of time and effort went into writing stories that revolve around characters I didn't create in the first place. I don't take credit for them, so don't take credit for what's mine. Let's play nice, okay?

**Please review!**

* * *

"I can do it. I can do it," I chant quietly.

"Bella, if you don't get in that line right now, then _I'm_ going to do it."

"Tanya!"

"What?" she asks with wide, innocent eyes. "Just look at him."

"I am."

"He's like a fine wine—keeps gettin' better with age."

"I know."

"He's, like, the hottest Santa ever, too. It's ridiculous, really. I'd totally fuck him right now."

This makes me laugh. "Really? He's got white hair, a beard, and pillows stuffed in his suit. His red, velvet suit."

"So what?"

"So I don't want to hear about your freaky Santa fantasies, that's what."

Tanya rolls her eyes as she dismissively throws her hand in the air. "Whatever. Don't act like you wouldn't let him hit that if he wanted to." I shake my head. "Liar! I can guarantee that if _he_ were the one with freaky Santa fantasies, you'd be more than happy to oblige. _'Oh, Santa . . . right there . . . ugh . . . harder, Mr. Clause!''_"

"Shhh. Tanya, there are little kids here!"

I don't want to admit it, but she is right.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a crush on Edward Cullen. From the first minute I laid eyes on him, I wanted him. I remember when we first met like it was yesterday. We shared a lab table in our eighth grade Earth Science class. There weren't very many partner projects that year. Occasionally we'd have to grade each other's homework or share a handout. Unfortunately, I could count our interactions on one hand. We only sat together for the first trimester, but his floppy bronze hair and piercing green eyes distracted me all year long. The class was definitely the highlight of my junior high experience.

In senior high, we shared gym class . . . _every single year_. Edward was good at everything, of course. Tennis, softball, floor hockey, volleyball, horseshoes, running—it didn't matter what we did; he was the best. It made my own lack of athleticism even more embarrassing, not that he ever noticed me. Well, there was that one time he threw a basketball to me. It broke my finger. It was the first and last time someone passed me the ball.

I had hoped that travelling halfway across the country to attend college would help me get over him, but it didn't. I dated, but I never really clicked with anyone. There was one guy, Demetri, who I enjoyed spending time with, but things ended abruptly when I accidently called him "Edward" in bed. What can I say? It slipped. Edward had played a starring role in my fantasies for so long that I couldn't even get off without thinking about him. After that, I learned to keep my mouth shut.

Once I graduated from college, I moved back home. I missed my parents and my friends. At the time, I wasn't sure where Edward's life had taken him. The last I had heard, he was on the opposite coast. On the first day at my new job, I discovered that was no longer the case. As I was being given a tour of the premises, I passed an office with a name plaque that read _E. Cullen_.

I secretly hoped that it wasn't him, that it was his brother, Emmett, or that the name was a complete coincidence. I secretly-secretly hoped that it was him.

And, of course, it was.

The next few years had passed similarly to high school. Edward strutted through the halls, looking dashing in a suit and tie as opposed to typical teenager clothing, while I watched from a distance. Girls fawned over him, but instead of shying away from them like he had so often in the past, he took the affection in stride. In place of school dances, there were company picnics and holiday parties. Edward always brought a date; I never did.

The pattern continued for a few years. Eventually I learned to be content with the situation. I got to see Edward five days a week. Sometimes we'd run in to each other in the break room or elevator. His polite smile always helped get me through the week. Or day. Or hour.

Everything changed a few months ago, though, when Edward put in his two weeks notice. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. All hope I had of ever seeing him again was gone. On his last day, there was a goodbye party, and it was there that I overheard him telling someone he was filling in as Santa on Christmas Eve.

"Bella!" Tanya's voice, loud in my ear, causes me to jump. "Seriously, do this or let's go home. If I'm late for the big dinner my mother will never let me hear the end of it. I still have to shower and paint my nails and wrap presents."

"Okay, okay! I'm going. " I look down as I straighten my shirt. "How do I look?"

"Sexy as hell." Tanya hooks her finger into my neckline and yanks it down an inch. "I still think you should have gone for the Santa bikini we saw at Spencer's."

"We're in a mall. That would _so_ not be appropriate," I say. Tanya shrugs. I wouldn't put it past her to be scantily clad in the middle of winter, surrounded by eight-year-olds. She would turn every head in the place, too. I sigh. "Maybe I should have went with the bikini. I need all the help I can get."

"Bella," she says disapprovingly, "you are a gorgeous woman, inside and out. If he can't see that, then he doesn't deserve you." She wraps me up in a hug, and I try my best to channel her confidence.

I'm going to need it.

With an unexpected slap on the ass, she shoves me in line. My eyes stay glued to Edward as he plays Santa for the steady stream of children. He looks genuinely happy to be here tonight. He greets each one with a "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" before scooping them onto his lap. I can tell at what point he begins the discussion of what presents they want because he becomes comically serious. After the kids make their demands, they pose for a picture and the cycle repeats with someone new.

I pay for a single 5" x 7" photo. I don't have many pictures of Edward, definitely not any of the two of us together, and I wanted something to remember him by, ridiculous as the print will be. I don't bother telling the elf working the booth that _I'm_ the one visiting Santa.

The line seems to move faster the closer I get. When the little girl before me has her turn, I take a few moments to fluff my hair and straighten my clothes.

"Are you visiting Santa, ma'am?" a different elf asks, completely unfazed. I cringe at the term _ma'am_ but answer as politely as I can. He takes my photo receipt before saying, "You're up."

I take a deep breath as I make my way toward Edward.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry—" he stops abruptly as he looks at me, his eyes filling with recognition. The smile fades from his face. It looks like he's about to either get sick or bolt from the chair.

I knew this was a bad idea.

"Bella? Bella Swan?" he asks after composing himself. Hearing him say my name gives me chills. At work, on the rare occasion that he addressed me by name, he would call me Isabella like everyone else. It's nice to hear him use my nickname like my friends do.

"Hi."

He looks around in confusion. "You have a kid?"

"Huh? No! I—I'm here for me," I say stupidly.

"Oh." His frown disappears and his eyes widen. "Oh!"

Now _I_ want to run. I would, too, but this may very well be my last chance to talk to him, and I'm not going to throw it away because I'm a coward.

"Well," he says as he pats his lap, "don't be shy."

Tanya had told me to straddle him, but I'm not that brazen. I sit gingerly and wiggle a bit trying to get comfortable. With the extra padding of the costume, there isn't much room left for me. I hope I'm not too heavy; the last thing I want is for him to lose circulation in his feet. He wraps his arms around me, resting one hand on my hip and the other on my knee. The tension in our bodies reminds me of clumsy first dances or hugs from people who are acquaintances.

"How have you been?" He initiates the conversation easily as if everything is normal.

"Fine. You?"

"Good. You look nice."

"Thank you." The heat in my face rises.

Awkward silence.

"How's the new job?"

"It's great so far. I like it. The people are nice"

"That's good."

More awkward silence.

"Any big Christmas Eve plans?" he asks.

"Um, no. You're kind of looking at it."

"Last minute shopping, huh?"

I don't correct him.

Even more awkward silence.

"I think they're ready to take the picture."

"Oh, okay." I turn and am about to put on a fake smile for the camera when, out of the corner of my eye, I spot Tanya. She uncrosses her arms in order to make an exaggerated display of checking the time on her watch. It reminds me that my time with Edward is running out and not just in the immediate sense. I face him again and take another deep breath. "Actually, I don't think we're done yet."

"We're not?"

"No. I came here to see _Santa_," I stress.

Edward looks at me like I've sprung a third head. "Seriously," he asks hesitantly, and I nod. "Okay." He pauses and looks at me mischievously. "Have you been a good girl, Bella?"

His voice is smooth like velvet, and the sensual tone causes my face to flush with desire. Unable to gather my thoughts, I stammer out an answer. "I—um—I think so."

"You think so?" he asks seductively. "Do you know what will happen if you've been bad?" I shake my head. Edward places his lips against my ear and whispers, "I'm going to fill your stocking with coal."

Shivers race down my spine. Acting out a Santa Clause fantasy with Edward would not be the least bit difficult. "I've been good," I manage to choke out.

"Mmm," he hums against my skin. His fake beard tickles my neck, and I squirm slightly. He pulls his face away, probably mistaking my ticklishness for discomfort, and looks at me apologetically. At least, I think he looks apologetic. It's hard to tell when only his eyes are visible. "Tell me, Bella, what do you want for Christmas?"

"I want—" My insecurities get the best of my and my mouth snaps shut. I scan the crowd for Tanya, but she's gone. This time, I'm on my own.

"Santa," the elf interrupts impatiently, "lots of kids need to see you tonight."

Edward nods to him and looks at me with a sad expression. "Bella—"

"I want a date with Edward Cullen," I blurt out.

Edward's jaw drops, and he squeezes my hip. "You what?"

"I want to go on a date . . . with you."

He remains silent. I consider telling him to forget it. I can still run away while I still have some pride left.

"Tonight?"

"No! No, not tonight. Of course not tonight. It's Christmas Eve," I ramble nervously. "I meant sometime in the future when it's not a holiday and we're not busy doing . . . stuff."

"Bella, I'm asking. Tonight?"

I hesitate, positive I must have misheard. "Um, what?"

"Yeah, you said you didn't have plans. My family is celebrating tomorrow, so I have nothing else going on."

"Oh." I couldn't believe the evening was actually taking a turn for the better.

"I'll understand if you don't want to. Like you said, it's a holiday—"

"No, I want to!" I practically scream.

"Santa," the elf warns.

I scramble to get off Edward's lap, but he holds me tighter. "The mall closes in thirty minutes. Wait for me?"

"Okay."

He releases me, and I reluctantly stand. Immediately, a small child clambers onto his lap. I turn away, barely able to contain my excitement as I run to find Tanya. I don't even care that our picture was never taken. There are more important things to get exciting about.

Tonight, I have a date with Edward Cullen!

After relaying what happened, Tanya leaves me to wait for Edward alone, saying to call her if I need a ride. I pace impatiently behind the North Pole display, earning a few curious looks from a security guard.

"Bella?" Edward's voice is shy. I jump, not expecting him so soon. I look at my watch. It's been 50 minutes. Looking around, I realize the stores are dark and empty.

How did I not notice everything had closed?

Edward has changed into jeans and a t-shirt. It's been too long since I've seen him in casual clothing. He always looks amazing, no matter what he's got on. "No Santa suit?" I ask, slightly disappointed he's not wearing it.

"No, it's not mine, fortunately." He chuckles.

"Too bad. It was kinda hot," I mumble.

"Huh? Oh, yeah it was hot." He makes an exaggerated effort of sniffing his armpit. "I should probably shower. Do you mind following me to my place?"

"Actually, my friend had to leave. I'm sort of at your mercy." I would feel presumptuous telling him we planned it that way, so I don't.

"I can deal with that," Edward says playfully. "I'm parked right outside." He takes my hand and leads me to his car. Butterflies threaten to burst out of my stomach the entire way. He opens the passenger door and doesn't release my hand until I'm inside. The drive is short, and all too soon, we're inside Edward's house.

He offers me a glass of wine and tells me to make myself at home in the living room while he freshens up. When he joins me again, he's carrying an empty glass and the bottle of wine. He sits beside me and tops off my glass before filling his. I'm mesmerized by the way his damp hair falls across his forehead, and I have to sit on my hands to keep from touching it.

"So I was thinking," he begins. "Since it's Christmas Eve and all, would you mind if we stay in?"

"Here?" I ask for clarification, even though I'm quite certain that's what he means.

"Yes," Edward answers uncertainly. "I have some leftovers from yesterday and plenty of wine. We can have a few drinks without having to drive anywhere."

I can barely contain my excitement as I agree. I don't bother asking how I'll get home; Tanya will pick me up when I'm ready to leave.

Edward reheats dinner—a pot roast he made yesterday—and we eat at the coffee table. He tells me he doesn't like eating in the dining room because it feels too formal and considering that most of the time he eats alone, boring, too. I find it hard to believe that Edward is still single, especially with the amount of attention he must get.

I don't mind sitting on the couch while we eat. We gravitate closer while we talk about his day as Santa and the holiday traditions we're accustomed to. Edward is constantly refilling my wine glass, and as a result it's never empty. I'm not sure how much I've drunk, but my body is tingly and my face is warm. I can't even tell when I blush anymore.

I'm in the middle of a story about how I set up booby traps for Santa one year when Edward tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. My voice falters, and I forget what we're talking about. I try to regroup my thoughts, but the only thing I can think of is the way his fingers had felt as they brushed across my skin.

He repeats the gesture a few times, even though my hair is already tucked away, then he leans in and places a kiss behind my ear.

My heart beats wildly, and my breathing picks up. Edward softly kisses me again and again, his lips painting a warm trail down my neck and across my jaw. He cups my cheek and gently turns my face toward his, and then he presses his lips against mine.

Edward Cullen is kissing me!

He pulls away too soon. My disappointment is reflected in his eyes. I realize that I was so shocked by his actions, I never returned his kiss. I grab him by the hair and pull him back to me. This time, he doesn't hesitate to kiss me deeply.

Edward gently pushes me back until I'm lying on the couch, and he settles himself between my legs. "You are so beautiful, Bella," he says before moving his lips back to my neck. I whimper as his hand slides under my shirt and across my overheated flesh. "Your skin is so soft." He nudges my bra and shirt out of the way before capturing my nipple between his teeth. His fingers dance down my side and tease playfully at the top of my pants. "It's not too late to be naughty," he says as he pops open the button.

I take a shaky breath. Things are happening fast, but it feels so good. Edward stills above me, and when I open my eyes, he's looking at me intently. "Is this okay?" he whispers. I nod fervently; I don't want to stop.

He continues kissing me as his hand caresses my stomach, breasts, and thighs. He is teasing, getting me worked up but not touching anywhere that will grant relief. I gather his shirt in my fists and pull it over his head. While my arms are up, he does the same. The heat of his skin makes up for the chill in the room, and I hold him close.

This has to be a dream. There's no way this run-of-the-mill Christmas Eve could result in a romp with Edward Cullen. I'm just about to pinch myself when Edward's hand comes to rest between my legs, surprising me. "Oh!"

"Still okay?"

"Yes."

I reach for the front of his pants, but he quickly grabs my wrists and pins them over my head. "Not yet," he says. "I'm not done with you." His words send a tremor through my body. Keeping one hand around my wrists, he slides his other hand into my pants. I stifle a groan. "Let me hear you," he demands. "I want to hear what I'm doing to you."

Edward assaults my neck with his lips again, and I don't bother hiding my cries of pleasure. I arch my back, wanting more contact. He increases the pressure of his hand. His hips shift, and I can feel him, hard and ready against my thigh. I press my body against him, and he lets out a low groan.

"You taste so good," he mumbles against my throat. "I bet you taste good everywhere." He removes his hand from my pants long enough to slip it beneath my underwear. "Fuck, Bella, you're so wet." His fingers slide easily across my slick skin. "Are you this wet for me?" He stops his movements as he waits for an answer.

"Yes," I moan.

"What are you gonna let me do to you, Bella?"

"Anything," I breathe.

"Anything? See? I knew you were naughty," he says smugly. I never pegged Edward for a dirty talker, but I like it! "Do I get to fuck you here?" he asks as he slips his fingers inside me. My toes curl as he massages me. My body arches and moves with him. "And here?" He removes his hand and touches his fingertips to my lips. I part them slightly. He slides his fingers across my tongue before placing them in his own mouth to lick clean. "Mmm, I knew you'd be delicious."

Edward kisses me roughly, then sits up, releasing my wrists. "Don't move." He removes the rest of my clothing. His eyes scan my body appreciatively as his fingers caress my legs. "Fuck, you're sexy." He leans down, and my eyes flutter shut as he flicks my clit with his tongue. Edward's tongue does amazing things to my body. So do his lips, his teeth, his fingers . . .

In no time at all, I am a quivering mess beneath him. He holds back every time I get close to coming, and after he does it a few times, I'm groaning in frustration. "What do you want, Bella?" he stops to ask me.

"Please," I whine pathetically, too far past the point of coherent thoughts.

"Please what?"

"Edward," I beg.

"Come on, Bella. You're so sexy when you tell me what you want. Please?"

When he puts it that way, I can't say no. "I want you to make me come."

His mouth returns to my body. This time he doesn't let up. My hands find purchase in his hair as my climax hits, and I hold him close as I ride out the most powerful orgasm of my life. He licks and teases as I come down, but I'm too sensitive and shove him away.

Edward crawls up my body and places his lips against mine. "Kiss me," he says. "I want you to taste yourself."

God, Edward's dirty mouth is going to be the death of me. He doesn't make a move, instead waiting for me to lead the kiss. He moans as my tongue meets his. I kiss him with enthusiasm, knowing it's turning him on.

More than ready to return the favor, I nimbly work Edward's fly open. I wrap my fingers round him. He's hard and thick and hot. I run my thumb across the tip, collecting the liquid that has gathered there, and I break my lips from his before sucking my thumb into my mouth.

"Oh, fuck." He reaches between us and strokes himself lazily. "I want you so bad," he says quietly, almost reverently.

"I'm yours."

He wastes no time shedding his pants and boxers. Everything—and I mean _everything_—about his body is beautiful. His kisses are tender now as lines up our bodies and gently pushes inside me.

I wrap my arms around his strong shoulders, feeling the muscles of his back work as he thrusts. "Bella," he sighs as he rests his forehead against mine. "You're amazing."

I hold him tighter as he moves over me. This feels so much better than any fantasy I could dream up. "You feel so good inside me."

"I'm not going to last long if you keep talking like that." His voice is strained.

"Edward," I moan. Saying his name out loud, and knowing I'm actually with him, is just enough to push me over the edge one more time. I dig my fingers into his shoulders as another wave of pleasure rolls over me. Edward's lips are hot and wet on my neck, his curses muffled as his own climax overtakes him.

We lie there, breathing heavily as we come down from the high. Edward rolls off me, and I shiver as the cool air hits my sweat-dampened body.

"Cold?" Edward asks. He pulls a blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around us.

My body isn't the only thing cooling down. As my buzz starts to wear off, I'm having doubts about what just happened. Being with Edward was amazing, but I feel as though our actions sealed my fate as nothing more than an easy fuck. Maybe this really wasn't such a great idea after all. "I should probably get dressed," I say, not wanting to outstay my welcome. Hopefully Tanya will be able to leave her party right away so I won't have to wait too long.

"Absolutely not." He kisses me. "You aren't going anywhere."

"What?" I'm confused by his continued affection and the conviction in his voice.

"Bella, you have no idea how long I've dreamed about this. About us."

"Us?"

"Yes. Ever since eighth grade when we sat next to each other in science. I was too shy back then to ask you out. And then, well, dating was against company policy, and I was afraid if I asked you out, you'd slap me with a sexual harassment suit."

"Are you crazy?" I exclaim. "Why on Earth would I do that?"

Edward shrugs sheepishly. "I didn't think you were interested. You never talked to me and—" He looks away as his cheeks flush bright pink. "And you probably already think I'm a crazy stalker for rearranging my schedule back in high school so we shared gym class."

"Wait, you switched your schedule around to be in my gym class?" I ask in disbelief. Edward bites his lip and nods. "All four years? Why? I was terrible!"

"You were pretty bad," he agrees. I attempt to slap his shoulder, but he cocoons me in the blanket and holds me tightly. "I just wanted to see you wear those little shorts." He fishes my hand out from my blanket prison and places a kiss on one of my knuckles. "And I'm sorry about breaking your finger."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Edward has wanted me as long as I've wanted him. He had rearranged his schedule to share classes with me. He even remembers breaking my finger—the exact finger. "I can't believe you never said anything."

"Neither did you," he counters.

"Hey, I made the first move!" I crane my neck forward and kiss his nose.

"That you did," he agrees. "Well played, Swan. You didn't even need liquid courage to do it." Edward's smile fades, and he becomes serious. "I'm saying something now, Bella. Please stay. I don't want you to leave. Ever."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours," I repeat what I told him earlier. "I always have been."

He sighs happily and nuzzles his face into my neck. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

* * *

**The End**


End file.
